MPS

Transcripts of a recent, recent & real online chat….

TD: tushar, how is life?
Tushar: Hello Friend, life is good……..kinda
TD: kinda?
Tushar: Just busy…..Its grad school……..plus I’ve got this bug
TD: oh no
Tushar: yeah ..doctors are perplexed……there’s medically no cure
TD: hm….thats not good
Tushar: yeah .. but I’ve gotten it before too, I had a chronic case of it back in our undergrad years too
TD: oh dear.. what is it?
Tushar: its called Majorly Procrsatinating it can be quite detrimental to the pursuit of academic excellence
TD: hahahahahhaha……….yea I had that before too.
Tushar: I am currently undergoing this new gene treatment called ‘ Effective Time Management”

End Transcript. Begin Case Analysis

For centuries now, a highly infectious bug causing a condition know as Major Procrastination Syndrome (MPS) has been thriving in academic institutions across the globe. To date, MPS has caused more students to fail classes and suffer lower GPA’s  than all other imaginary, non communicable ailments combined.

A non- statistical and ‘completely word-of-mouth‘ survey revealed that over a recent 5-day holiday break, MPS rendered several students incapable of doing any school work whatsoever. The seasonal ingestion of large doses of the enzyme L- Tryptophan was found to aggravated the victims condition.

Compulsive cleaning, baking, doing laundry for your roommates, and simply slouching in front of the TV for hours without watching a single show are all symptoms of MPS. Students in a state of MP also complain of frequent loss of focus and a shortened attention spans. They often attribute this to their self-diagnosed acute ADD, usually fictitious and rarely clinical. Fictitious ADD is another study in itself , however trials suggests that a 3-5 minute daily routine of meditation effectively help to remedy this condition.

Antibiotics are useless to students in a state of MP. Warm soup, liquids and lots of rest don’t help either, if anything they intensity the problem.

The only cure to MPS  lies in the organizational DNA of the species known as the “Straight A Student (SAS)”. If incorporated correctly, a SAS’s Time Management gene could not only greatly reduce the risk of  academic failure, but also contribute to a happier collegiate experience. Complete and sustained recovery however, requires both, a strict diet of task- prioritization and routine exercises in weekly and daily planning.

The good news is that most schools and universities offer free counseling and treatment services for all types of MPS . If you believe that you you might suffer from MPS, contact your professor, academic adviser or visit your nearest learning/writing center. They’ll help you discover which Time Management treatment(TMT) works best for you!

Note: TMT may not be suitable for all, people falling under the catergory of genius, prodigy or super-human are often born with a natural immunity to the MPS.  From time to time though, even they have been known to exhibit certain MPS symptoms.