A few years ago like many of you I found myself at a point in my career and personally that I was seeking something that would take me to the next level, and this led to me exploring graduate school options. I started my new year diligently chalking up pros( more money) and cons ( money) for going back to school, requesting catalogs of potential contenders, and of course weighing taking a GRE prep course as versus self preparation. I visited schools, sat in classes, and sifted through resumes of faculty. in the later stages I talked to alums of program, read articles by faculty, and most importantly looked at the career services of the various programs I was interested in attending.

Ultimately, I was fortunate to receive an acceptance letter from my top choice as well as an alternate choice and probably the most surprising thing of the process was having my ‘fail safe’ selection actually not accept me. I felt my approach was comprehensive and exhaustive and still I have found myself, like many a grad student, faced mid-program wondering if this is the right program for me. Luckily, I have had enough friends who have done the grad school thing and have had to deal with the same inquiry and smartly I have stuck with my program unlike some friends who abandoned school all together because of a program that didn’t fit for them.  However, I recognize that many of you will be starting the process of looking for a graduate program, or you may be in the midst of your program wondering if you selected the right program/ the right school …. and to you I say be resolute in your choices and to be flexible in the new year to maximize what graduate school has to offer or can offer you. No one program will be a perfect fit, no one school will have all the amenities you desire, … and no one experience should chalk up the potential in a program.

Happy New Year Joyeux Nouvel An 新年快樂 سنة جديدة سعيدة

I’m a TA for Trial Round of Policy Analysis and the groups presented this week. I’m so proud of both of my groups. They worked very hard and really dug into their issues. I’m blessed to be a TA and I’m grateful for this experience.

That being said, I have my own presentations and papers to get done. The clock is ticking on the final days of the semester and I’m not trying to take a knee or punt.

Well, sometimes.

I’ve had several short writing assignments this semester. For some of them I’ve been able to knock out the writing within 2 hours or less. For others, it’s like I’m pulling words out of the paper. I’m working on a short writing assignment now, and I can’t seem to get the words on the page quickly. How long should it take to write 3 – 5 pages? In theory, that’s nothing. An afternoon jaunt. A mere postscript to the papers that extend into the double-digits. This is graduate school after all. A couple of pages should be as easy as walking into a parked car, right? Right?

Wrong.

At least wrong for me. Right now. What’s doubly frustrating is that I pretty much know what I want to say. I’ve done the reading, pulled out the quotes, done some critical thinking about it all. The only thing left to do is put it on the page. Yet I feel like I’m pulling words out of the page, tugging them onto screen.

Perhaps it’s the old stumbling block of wanting every word to be perfect, every letter a delectable morsel of prose that causes the reader to salivate from the first sentence. Yes, I want my writing to be good. I want the reader to enjoy the experience, not just see words on the page. I want my sentences to connect and flow and take the reader on the journey from beginning to end, leaving them with a desire for more.

Is that too much to ask for an academic paper? I don’t know any other way. I don’t want to know any other way.

I have found that sometimes just writing helps. By that I mean just typing out words even if it sounds like garbage. It helps get the juices flowing, and you can always go back and edit.

Ah, but the necessity of editing is evidence of imperfection. Of course there will always be typos, and maybe some light copy editing. But it can be painful to write a bunch of words for the sake of forward momentum, and then read them and recognize them for the artless blob that they are.

Thus, I find myself taking days to write just a few pages.

Since I do have those double-digit papers looming, I need to get these short ones out of the way. I hope you’ve enjoyed this journey.

It’s quite an interesting scene. I wonder how many people here are New School students vs. students from other universities vs. non-students. I’d love to give all of the details of what I see right now but I’m not sure if that would violate some some of social compact that is going on here. Journalists are not being allowed upstairs and I by no means am no journalist, but I’m sure there’s a reason for the limited info. No video or photo are allowed either. I’m sure someone else is blogging all the details, I haven’t been reading any blogs covering #ows. Really I’m just a grad student that wants to know what’s going on with my study space.

Thus, I have some mixed feelings about this whole situation. On the one hand, I wholeheartedly support the movement in its calling out of gross inequality and the unjust economic system that we have that values profits over people. The Occupy Wall Street movement has taken the national political debate from budget cuts to issues of inequality.

At the same time, the study center is relatively new, and I’m a paying student. I get upset when I see people leave crumbs on the tables in the study rooms, much less people turning this into a full-time base of operations. I must admit that it’s a lot cleaner up here than I expected to find it. That being said, the walls seem to be nothing more than a giant canvas. I’m not happy about that because that’s just disrespectful. Taping posters is one thing, painting is another, and just scrawling phrases is something else entirely. I wonder who will have to clean up when this is all done.

Part of me thinks some of the wall writing should be left for posterity. After all, this is the New School, isn’t it?

There is something that I don’t get about this current occupation: the point. It seems that there are different people with different agendas united by a general dissatisfaction with the way things are. Some of the arguments seem a bit misguided. I would love lower tuition (one of the calls here), but there the economics of running an institution. I suspect there is an alternative plan for funding universities, but saying “don’t pay tuition” is not a solid plan in my view.

I recognize that some of my thoughts are not in line with some of my fellow class mates, and that’s okay. We’re all better off with a diversity of view points.

As for me, I need to go #occupy this case study for elements of finance.

Y’know.

That point.

The point where you are in the mick and muck of it all and trying to push forward to see daylight with no cracks in sight.

The point where you say “oh crap” because you realize the semester is closing soon, and while that should be a good thing, you also realize that those term papers are coming due as well.

The point where it seems like due dates are stacked like Jenga and you’re trying to keep the puzzle together without having the whole thing fall apart.

Yes folks, we’re at that point.

Prayers are appreciated.

That’s me. I don’t know if it’s a rough spot in the semester or what, but I feel like I’m burning out. This finance class (elements of finance) has really gotten to me and I want to just throw my hands up and say “I’m done.” Work is very interesting and part-time, but just because I’m not on the clock doesn’t mean there isn’ t stuff that needs to get done. Throw the TA gig on top of that, my other courses, Toastmasters, and oh yeah, my personal life. Let’s sprinkle in the search for a PDR client and the ever-encroaching employment search and we’ve got ourselves a full pot of stew!

Of course, this is the situation that I’ve chosen. I realize that. No one made me take a job, apply to be a TA, take the courses I’m taking, or go to grad school at all. Seems weird to vent/complain/stress about a situation of my own choosing. But then again most of our situations in life are of our own choosing. That’s a larger conversation so we’ll leave that point for another time. But back to grad school blues…

I think that being in the third semester of a four-semester (full-time) program probably brings a certain stress, and next semester I’m sure will bring a whole other set of stress. I just registered for spring classes today so that probably adds to the mix. As I move through this semester I’ve begun to reflect on my academic experience. It’s probably somewhat premature to do a postmortem since I’m not even 75% through the program, but at this point my classes are decided for the most part. There’s no more “ooh maybe I’ll take that class.” And since my classes are pretty set at this point, it’s easy to begin thinking about what kind of skills I’m going to graduate with. Also, for the PDR, we’re supposed to use the skills we’ve gained at Milano to produce this professional report.

At this point I’m not sure I’ve taken the right courses. I mean I’ve taken the courses that meet graduation requirments, that’s not the issue. My question is whether my course work reflects my true desires of what I want to do with my life. The reality is that choosing classes to set up your career can be much more difficult than one might think. Everyone comes to grad school with certain dreams and desires. As you gain experience and skills your original dreams and desires might change, but you don’t get more electives to balance it out. Then you start thinking about classes that you took (or are taking currently) that maybe you weren’t/aren’t really into and you question it. Then the program might offer some brand new elective that wasn’t available when you came in, and you have to figure out if you can use your precious remaining credits on it – and if it meets your interests better than the course track you’ve already planned out during previous semesters. Just to spice it up, there may be a tension between getting tools (hard skills courses like finance) to courses that are just interesting but don’t necessarily provide you with a marketable skill (other than reading and writing). So in a way the academic experience is a negotiation between past, present, and future selves.

Am I disappointed? Yeah. Devastated? Nah.

It’s a highly competitive program and only a small percentage of people make it in. A number of us from Milano (around 18 I think) applied and so far I only know of two people that made it to the next round. We’ve all been checking in with each other, consoling each other, and congratulating those who made it.

I think around 9000 people applied and only 1200 made it on to the next round. That’s about a 13% acceptance rate.

Thanks for the PMF Info blog for being a great resource for information and support.

As others have stated, we’re all grad school students, which is a rare opportunity that most people don’t get to experience. We’re very blessed, PMF or no PMF.

And who knows, maybe this is better for us, maybe this whole PMF experience is just a stepping stone.

There are some very talented and dynamic people who didn’t make it. I’m proud to call them my classmates. Milano rolls deep. Milano goes hard. And this won’t stop us from changing the world for the better.

My last class for the week is on Thursday night, so Friday is my day — right? Nope. Today, I need to go to campus to get a waiver for a class that I feel I have sufficient work experience to warrant the hassle of going on campus on an ‘off’ day. I have an extra credit case assignment due Sunday for a capital markets class. I need to read the case today. I have an economics of inequality class short paper due Sunday. I need to finish reading before doing the paper. I have a logic model assignment due Sunday (actually it was due today but the professor is giving me a couple of extra days to do it). Luckily I have done the case reading for it and it’s partially done, but I need to dedicate some time to it today. Luckily, I don’t have an assignment due Sunday for my fourth class — Black Social Movements — but the next assignment due in a few weeks is a major paper. I should start figuring out my outline for the paper.

I will probably take my computer with me so I can stay on campus after I get the waiver to work on my Sunday assignments. Outside of classwork due, I have reading to do for next week so I need to remember to print out the readings while on campus as this will save me money from printing at home where I pay for the toner. I also will check out idealist.org (shout out) to see if I can find one or two openings. I have gained the graduate 25, so I need to start working out….just to ensure I can fit into my interview clothes if nothing else. I am not sure if I will be able to work out today, but the day is young and I am hopeful…..

The time has been flying and with a few weeks left (technically) in my grad school experience I am chuck-full-of anxiety, anticipation, trepidation and did I mention anxiety. If I stay up between now and national turkey day … I may find myself caught up. And while I should be filling my spare moments drafting paper outlines, scheduling ‘info’ interviews, or figuring out how I’m going to pay uncle Sam…..I’m going to spend it with you.

Yes, that’s right for the next few weeks you will be getting the raw, the unvarnished, the sleep deprived grad experience.

Drink it in.